Wolverine Shouldn't Fight Magneto Alone
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! Sequel to Wolverine Just Wants His Beer, Bub. Wolverine encounters Magneto and tries to stop him alone on several occasions. Will Wolverine find a way to defeat him, or will he get owned every time? Rated T for language and violence.
1. Chapter 1: First Encounter

**Story**: Wolverine Shouldn't Fight Magneto Alone  
**Authors**: Master Jin Sonata & Time Master  
**Written**: September 2007  
**Genre**: Humor  
**Rating**: T (Language and Violence)  
**Disclaimer**: We do not own Marvel, or its hotheaded character Wolverine.

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_**Part 1 of 5: First Encounter**_

Wolverine was walking through the halls of the X-Mansion, eating a hamburger minding his own business when he heard a crashing noise near the elevator.

"**The hell?"** Wolverine said, dropping his burger and setting off toward the noise.

When he arrived on the scene, Cyclops was lying on the ground in a daze.

"**What happened, bub?"** Wolverine said, kneeling down next to Scott.

"**It was…Magneto…"** Scott said dizzily, before passing out on the ground with a thud.

"**Damn…"** Wolverine said, clenching his fist. **"Looks like I'll have to take care of this myself."**

Wolverine then went into the elevator and headed straight for the underground lab where the main computer and Cerebral resided. Once out of the elevator, he spotted Magneto trying to escape with something under his arms.

"**Hold it right there, bub! Put that down or feel the pain of my claws,"** Wolverine growled, unleashing his claws.

Magneto turns around and gives Wolverine a smug look.

"**And what pray tell could you ever do to me by your lonesome?"** Magneto questioned, smirking.

"**Let me show you, bucket-head!"** Wolverine growled as he began charging toward him.

"**Too easy…"** Magneto said, raising his hand toward Wolverine.

**CRASH!!!**

Within a split second, Wolverine was seen with his head crashed through the ceiling of the complex, his legs flailing as he tried to get himself unstuck.

Magneto then lowered his hand, making Wolverine crash onto the floor, with a large section of the roof falling on top of him shortly afterwards.

"**How boring. Well, I'll be seeing you,"** Magneto said as he used his magnetic powers to fly himself out of the complex.

Minutes later, Wolverine breaks out of the rubble and shakes his head.

"**Grrrr…damn bucket-head!!! I'll get him for this!!!"** Wolverine said angrily, pulling a lead pipe out of his ass.

Wolverine failed to stop Magneto, but will he succeed next time?

_**End of Part 1**_

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	2. Chapter 2: Acting On Impulse

**_Part 2 of 5: Acting On Impulse_**

Some time later, Wolverine, Cyclops, Storm, and the other X-Men were in the control room with Professor Xavier discussing the events regarding Magneto earlier that day.

"**My fellow X-Men, our arch nemeses Magneto, as you know, broke into our underground complex earlier today and made off with several important pieces of equipment. Cyclops and Wolverine tried to stop him, but failed in the end,"** Professor Xavier explained.

"**I swear that damn bucket head will get his ass cut into coleslaw the next time I see him!"** Wolverine growls.

"**That is the very reason why teamwork is needed to defeat Magneto,"** Professor Xavier said.

"**He's right. Myself nor Wolverine shouldn't fight Magneto alone,"** Cyclops commented.

"**Where is Magneto now, Professor?"** Storm asked.

"**According to this monitor, Magneto is on his way back here to the mansion to possibly steal more expensive equipment,"** Professor Xavier commented.

"**Then together we must stop him. Right Wolverine? Wolverine…?"** Cyclops said, looking around.

Wolverine was already gone.

"**You don't think Wolverine went to go face Magneto on his own again, do you?"** Storm asked.

"**We shall find out. I'll turn on the mansion's security camera,"** Professor Xavier said, pressing a button on the giant monitor.

The camera had no audio, but it did show what Wolverine was doing outside.

The X-Men watched as Magneto descended onto the mansion grounds, with Wolverine approaching toward him seconds later. Wolverine seemed to be yelling angrily at Magneto while the villain mockingly laughed at him. Wolverine then unleashed his claws and lunged toward Magneto. Magneto, however, stopped Wolverine in mid-air with his powers while hurling a large metal dumpster straight into Wolverine before leaving.

"**Or…he came to just humiliate Wolverine again…"** Cyclops commented.

Professor Xavier turns off the monitor. Minutes later, Wolverine walks back into the control room covered in garbage.

"**Okay, I give. What's the plan, Chuck?"** Wolverine says to Professor Xavier, pulling a banana peel off of his face.

What will happen next? Will Wolverine get revenge for being humiliated twice in one day?

_**End of Part 2**_

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	3. Chapter 3: Operation Failure

**_Part 3 of 5: Operation Failure_**

Later that day, Wolverine, Cyclops, Storm, Nightcrawler, and Gambit were in their jet on their way toward Magneto's compound on a small abandoned island outside of the U.S.

"**Okay, here's the plan, team, we infiltrate Magneto's base and spy on him to see why he's been stealing Professor Xavier's equipment,"** Cyclops stated.

"**Easier said then done, bub. We might run into the Brotherhood while we are there…and boy will I be ready to tear them into pieces,"** Wolverine said with a grin.

"**Yes…and just remember, Wolverine, you are not to go near Magneto at all costs or our plan will be ruined,"** Storm reminded Wolverine.

"**There it is,"** Gambit says, pointing out the window, revealing Magneto's island below them.

After the jet had landed, the X-Men stepped outside. All of them were now disguised as Magneto's grunts who worked for him within his island.

"**Okay, Nightcrawler, teleport us inside the complex,"** Cyclops said.

"**Right,"** Nightcrawler says as he joins hands with everyone and teleports everyone inside the complex.

Once inside, they see the hallways bustling with grunts carrying out Magneto's deeds.

"**Okay let's split up everyone. Gather as much information as possible, then meet back here in 30 minutes," **Cyclops says before everyone went his or her separate ways.

Wolverine went down the main hallway of the complex, looking for any signs of Magneto.

"**I don't care what one-eye says, I'm cutting bucket-head's ass into coleslaw"** Wolverine said while walking around the corner into another room.

Inside, he stopped to see Magneto walking toward him, reading a newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. Wolverine growls as Magneto walked near him.

"**Hey, you, grunt! What are you doing standing around? Get to work!"** Magneto demanded.

"_**I'll get to work alright…kicking your ass…"**_ Wolverine mumbled to himself.

"**What was that?"** Magneto said, hearing Wolverine's mumbling. **"You sound familiar…"**

"**Uh…no…you don't know me…"** Wolverine lied.

"**Oh really?"** Magneto says as he uses his magnetic powers to launch Wolverine into the ceiling above him. **"I knew it! All of the outfits my own grunts wear are resistant to my powers. You, Wolverine, along with the other X-men, are now busted."**

"**Shit!"** Wolverine growls to himself, still plastered onto the ceiling.

What will happen to the X-Men now due to Wolverine's blunder? Stay tuned.

_**End of Part 3**_

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	4. Chapter 4: Magneto Is Dumb

_**Part 4 of 5: Magneto Is Dumb**_

Wolverine, Cyclops, Storm, Nightcrawler, and Gambit were now prisoners within Magneto's fortress after Wolverine was caught a few hours earlier. All of them were tied up with metal pipes compliments of Magneto.

"**Wolverine…can I ask you one thing?"** Gambit said to Wolverine.

"**What is it, Gumbo?"** Wolverine said to Gambit.

"**Why are you so damn stupid?"** Gambit questioned.

"**Hot-headed is more like it…"** Cyclops added.

"**Shut up, both of ya! I'll get us out of this mess in no time,"** Wolverine responded angrily.

"**Good luck with that, Logan,"** said Magneto, walking into the room. **"Now, with you guys as hostages, Professor Xavier will have to fork over more secret materials from his mansion so I can create the ultimate weapon against the inferior humans."**

"**Hey, bucket-head, why don't you come say that to my face!"** Wolverine taunted Magneto.

"**If you insist,"** Magneto said with a evil grin. He held out his hand and forced Wolverine to bolt forward straight to Magneto, still wrapped in the metal piping. **"So what do you say now?"**

"**I say you just made a big mistake, bub,"** Wolverine said with a cheeky grin.

"**What?!"** Magneto said as he looked up toward the other X-Men, who were all free from his binds.

When he used his powers to bring Wolverine to him, he unknowingly pulled off the bars confining the other X-Men.

"**Whoops…"** Magneto says, gulping.

The sound of blasting, punching, slashing, and whacking could be heard within the room immediately afterwards.

Magneto may be defeated, but the story doesn't end there! Stay tuned for the finale.

_**End of Part 4**___

**Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5: An End To The Conflict?

_**Part 5 of 5: An End To The Conflict?**_

The X-Men had succeeded in defeating Magneto at his compound. Now, they were back at the X-Mansion taking a well-deserved break.

**"Good thinking, Wolverine. Your actions on provoking Magneto at the island helped us defeat him,"** Cyclops said.

**"I guess this redeems you from your earlier mishaps then,"** Storm added.

**"Whatever. All that matters is that bucket-head is in jail. Now, time for me to get a beer,"** Wolverine said, about to leave the room.

Suddenly, the mansion's alarm system began ringing.

**"What now? Who's trying to invade da mansion?"** Gambit said.

All of the X-men approach the monitoring system. They all witness Juggernaut wreaking havoc in front of the mansion.

**"Oh great, Juggernaut's here,"** Nightcrawler said, gulping.

**"It's going to take every X-men in the whole facility to take him down. You guys ready?"** Cyclops asked everyone.

Everyone turned around to see Wolverine already gone.

**"Oh no...you don't think...?"** Storm asks.

The X-Men then see on the monitor Wolverine outside confronting Juggernaut.

All of the X-Men shook their heads in embarrassment and in pity as they watched Wolverine get owned...once again.

_**End of Part 5**_

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**The End!!!**

**That does it for this installment! Please review!**

Check out the previous Wolverine fics we've made: **Wolverine's Birthday Party**, and **Wolverine Just Wants His Beer, Bub**, already up!!!

And keep on the lookout for the next installment of the silly Wolverine-themed mini-series:** Wolverine Tries Hitting On Scott's Girlfriend**, coming in January 2008!


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